Help for Parents

As I was preparing to write on the topic of help for parents regarding kids’ online safety, I took a look at a montage of Dateline’s “To Catch a Predator” on youtube, found here. I was hoping to find some similarities in the stories – something that I could say, “Here’s what to watch for.” Unfortunately, the only commonality I could find was that the predators have little in common. They do not come from the same walks of life. They range in age from barely 18 to probably pushing 70. Some claim God as their savior, some do not. Some deny, some admit, some are ashamed, some seem callous, some almost appear proud of what they are doing. The only thing I found them to have in common is the lengths that they will go to have sex with children whom they have met online. I have always hated watching that show and I think the disturbing fact that the predators could be anybody is one of the reasons. These men have moms, dads, brothers, sisters, wives and children. One man pleaded for no consequence because he has a sick mom who loves and needs him. He might have just been making that up, but there also may have been a sick mom at home awaiting his arrival. To see how sex addiction has destroyed these mens’ lives to the point where they are now going to do inexcusable and irreparable harm to children is a travesty to witness. I have to wonder, as I force myself to watch, how many predators actually meet with real kids for every one that is caught by Dateline.

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Kids haven’t changed much since we were children. I remember my fair share of searching out information on or images of sexuality. I remember doing things that would have gotten me into serious trouble with my parents had they only known. That is probably true for most of us. What has changed since we were children is how much access kids now have to sexually explicit material and how much access predators have to our kids. Anyone that has a computer hooked up to the internet in their home has opened up an enormous window of opportunity for their kids to come into harm’s way. Unfortunately, closing this window altogether by removing computers from our homes puts us at a huge disadvantage in the internet age. I have listed out several things to help parents deal with their children’s safety online.

• Teach your child well, but never assume he or she is “beyond all that.” Even the best behaved children reach an age where they want to learn about sex and sexuality and will likely not consult their parents before doing so. While we believe that our children will make wise choices as we have taught them, we must continue to use the tools at our disposal that give them the best chance to make these wise choices.
• Know where your child is at. This pretty much goes without saying, but I would be remiss if I didn’t add it to the list. You should always have a clear understanding of where your child is and who he or she is with, and your child should have a clear understanding of when to be home.
• Open your house to your child’s friends. Do all that you can to be certain that yours is the home your child’s friends prefer to hang out at. It is so much easier for you to monitor activities that are happening under your own roof.
• Try to become friends with the parents of your child’s friends. If you have relationships with other parents it is much easier to determine which homes you feel secure allowing your child to be at and which homes you need to limit their time in. It is a good idea to discuss internet safety with other parents as well and a good rule of thumb would be to make sure that your kids are involved in activities that do not include the internet with their friends.
• It would be a good idea to have a rule that your child is not allowed to use the internet at a friend’s house. There is no guarantee your child will not break this rule, but he or she would be much more wary of using the internet if the rule is clearly established.
• Use internet security software. I can’t stress this enough as I offer help for parents. There is a lot of technology out there that is being used to target your kids for sexual activities. Be sure you are using the technology to prevent this.

In your home you should make it clear that all online activity, chatting, and email is public. Your kids can have their privacy in many other avenues but the internet simply shouldn’t be one of them. You have the ability to close this window on sexual predators. Visit my Kids Internet Safety page for reviews on various products or click the affiliate link below to give yourself the tools to prevent an internet predator from showing up at your door.

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